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Financial Catch up

June 17th, 2010 at 09:34 pm

So I eluded in my last entry about a financial mess, so here it is:

The DH went into business with the BIL a little over a year ago. In Nov BIL and SIL decided to divorce. Things still okay with the business, but BIL started to get a little squirrely. In May SIL and her 12 CATS moved in with us while she builds herself a new home to move into. That is all well. DD3 had to give up her room and the cats are very well behaved and live in the basement. But I digress....

In May BIL tells DH the company is out of money and he has no money to pay him or pay for our health insurance. DH was expecting a commission shortly, so he pulled the money from the savings. Commission comes in, we get half. Now what? BIL is the manager of the business. DH does his job and has never asked BIL for the books or accounts of spending. SIL thinks BIL is hiding money and trying to make the business look non profitable because of the divorce. DH still won't confront BIL about the books or a business buyout. So we just keep living off savings.

I can't begin to tell you how frustrated I am. I approach DH logically, I approach him yelling and screaming and still nothing. He will not go out and get a PT job (he works from home for about 4 hours a day)nor confront BIL and do SOMETHING about this. Do I threaten divorce? This puts our home and whole family in jeopardy. I am gone 10 hours a day and work another job most weekends. Savings are dwindling. DH buries his head in the sand.

And yes, perhaps irresponsibly, but we did take SIL's "rent" for May/June and took the kids on a short vacation. I needed it!!

6 Responses to “Financial Catch up”

  1. Petunia Says:

    Boo, if you ever figure out what to do with a partner who buries his head in the sand let me know. I live there too.

    Some things that have helped are approaching at a good time, presenting just a tiny fraction of the whole problem, and presenting the tiny fraction in a way that can involve yes-no type of answers (and seem doable to the spouse).

    But I think some people are either born or made to avoid situations until they are complete crises - a proactive vs. reactive mentality. It's h*ll on those who live with them.

    Something I might consider for my very visual husband if I were in your situation is a pictoral representation of savings, and a projected date when it will be gone. (I might fudge the projected date a bit to make it a little closer than I think it actually is.) I'd do something like those thermometer graphs. And I might present a new one to him every week, at the "good time", with updated information and very few words from me.

    12 cats? Oy!

  2. LittleGopher Says:

    Oh Boo, what a difficult situation to be going through. You are so strong and always to keep what's most important. It WILL turn around for you! Take care!!

  3. Broken Arrow Says:

    Tell hubby to ask BIL to gift him cash, no strings attached, no questions asked.

    I'm just throwing that out there.

  4. momcents Says:

    I think you are holding up remarkably well during all of this. I agree that your husband should take more of an interest; I am at a loss at what to advise. I think that the vacation was a WONDERFUL idea! Family time came help minimize the stress and put things in the proper perspective.

  5. Ima saver Says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I could help or give you some good advice, but what can you do if dh won't speak up. We went in business once with another person and we will never do that again.

  6. Frugaltexan75 Says:

    I'm sorry to hear about all this. No advice, just know you are in my prayers.

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