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How to get tough with kids

July 20th, 2010 at 09:21 am

Any advice?? Dealing with DD3, who is about to turn 13. She is a SSPENDER!! Give her $10 and she will immediately run to the store and buy $10 in candy!! She begs constantly for fast food. I have no problem saying no, but it is a CONSTANT thing! DD1 is cheap and frugal, DD2 has expensive tastes, but generally uses her own money by saving it and spending for what she wants. DD3 is a train wreck and I am afraid she is on a bad track. I try to be firm about putting some of her money in savings, and she has about $80 in her savings and does not ask to touch or spend it. Out of sight out of mind works with her. I feel bad that she is generally the one that is left at home with dad every day and does not have any friends that live around us. She is bored.
Sooo, besides trying to teach her to cook (so that she feels more enabled to feed herself, lessening the I want fast food pleas) any other suggestions? She is short on patience, she needs some kind of "baby step" program and some kind of mission or project for the rest of the summer.

Did pretty good this weekend. Stayed at home Saturday and Sunday and cooked dinner both nights! Lasagna and chicken kebobs and rice. Gave at church, but I put that in "regular bills" and not "spending".

7/17
QT gas 30.00
Dierbergs $54.60

7/18
Laundermat 4.75 (dog got sick on comforter!)

7/19 No spender!!

Today should be a no spender too!

6 Responses to “How to get tough with kids”

  1. Looking Forward Says:

    Cooking is a good idea. Maybe other activities that are creative, take time and teach patience. Painting, teaching the dogs new tricks (you can buy books about this online), beading, candy making, cookie/cake decorating, scrapbooking...
    Let me know if you find something that works! My DD doesn't beg for fast food, but she will spend all her money without a second thought.

  2. boomeyers Says:

    Thanks LF! Great suggestions and I have the items to get her started on a few of these if she wants to!

  3. ThriftoRama Says:

    I'm wondering if spending money is a universal thing with kid. My plan (which could fail, as my son is only two and it's all theory) is to set an allowance based on the things I expect him to buy himself. it will require budgeting, saving, etc. in order for him to have enough for now versus later. I read about it somewhere. We'll see if it works....

  4. Broken Arrow Says:

    Well, I'm really glad to hear that you're catching on to them at an early age. There's still time and hope yet!

  5. whitestripe Says:

    my little sister is the same, and actually i was the same at that age too. i think an important thing to teach them is independence and self-sufficieny. don't make it easy for her to lean on you after she's spent all her money. it is hard for a parent to let a child go without, but if she gets into the habit of being propped up by her parents after spending all her money on crap, it will be a hard habit to break as she gets older. while i personally spent most of my early job earnings on clothes and food, i knew once it was gone, it's gone. i didn't have the nerve to ask my parents for money for clothes i needed if I'd previously spent all of mine on junk. she will learn, it will just take time.

  6. Jerry Says:

    Each kid is a little (or a lot) different, and it can really lead to headaches when one seems less responsible than the others. Hopefully as she gets older she will learn from the example of her sisters, and have some insurance of not living wild with the cash. Good luck! That has to be tough right now...
    Jerry

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