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Just can't do it anymore

September 3rd, 2007 at 02:05 pm

Really we can't. My stay at home career has come to a halt, mostly because the economy stinks!

I told you at the beginning of the year we were taking a salary cut, and we did. We went from $4500 a month to $3000. With some belt tightening and so such, we were okay for the first few months. Then insurance went up again and we went from $3000 a month, to $2780. Add to this fact the cost of living, at least in our little world, has skyrocketed and that we tightened our belts, but did'nt completly quit spending, WE ARE DROWNING!

You also have to remember, I do not have my husbands support in paying the bills. I juggle this on my own with what he gives me. He is not a spendthrift by any means, but he does feel like he deserves golf on the weekends and an occasional resturant meal - and he does. He has our EF at about $19,000. But as you can see on the sidebar our debt has gone to about $30,000!

So hiho, hiho, my stay at home mom career will have to go to the back burner. I am terrified because it is VERY important to me to be the one that raises my own children. So please say a prayer or throw a token of good luck my way that I find a job that can juggle all these things!!! I will join my friend Thrifty Ray on my way back to the workforce. Hopefully it will be gentle on me.

I honestly feel something of a failure, because we are relatively thrifty and besides a couple of trips we took (after 7 years!) we really are NOT extravagant in ANY way. Just people trying to live a nice life. We are not the Jones, nor do we aspire to be them. Anyway, I am sad. Frown I want to thank everyone for their great support and friendship, because I really do learn a lot from you all!

16 Responses to “Just can't do it anymore”

  1. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Ahhww, bummer.

  2. Ima saver Says:

    So sorry!

  3. jdedit2001 Says:

    Sending good vibes your way and I hope you'll find the perfect flexible job. Don't feel like a failure. The cost of everything seems to be getting higher, and wages aren't. I understand the frustration.

  4. littlegopher Says:

    Oh, Boo, I'm sorry for what you're going through. You are right about the expense/income discrepancies - us too. That's what encouraged my return to work a few years back after over 11 years at home with my girls, and a part of the reason behind my recent job change (within the school district) to a position with a better wage as well as more hours. Prayers and best wishes to you in your job search. Let us know how it goes.

  5. CB in the City Says:

    You are not a failure! It's very tough to make ends meet these days! Good luck on job hunting.

  6. Lynnae @ Being Frugal Says:

    I'm so sorry. It is really hard to make it on one income these days. Don't feel like a failure. I'm praying that you can find a good job that works with your family's needs.

  7. Amorphous Says:

    I am so so sorry to hear that.
    I pray that you will land a great job!

  8. miclason Says:

    ((hugs)) will pray for a great job, paying lots of $$$$, with a GREAT schedule to fit your family's needs!

  9. fairy74 Says:

    sorry you won't be able to stay home. I completely understand not wanting others to raise your kids. Me and DH are working part time so that we can trade off on caring for the little one. It is hard to make it that way. I'm praying you find the perfect position for you and your goals.

  10. fern Says:

    Maybe just a part-time job so you can still be there when the kids get home?

  11. terri77 Says:

    I pray that you get a job that accomodates all your goals, and I pray that your husband joins you on accomplishing these goals. You definitely deserve his support in this.

  12. Anonymous Says:

    You do realize that most of what you make will be eaten up with all the extra expenses involved in going back to work? How about running a small child-care business out of your home. You would still be able to stay home with your own kids and make extra money to help out your situation.

    And by the way, even if your husband does 'deserve' some extras, so do you and if you don't get them, why should he? Why should you be the one to go to an 'outside' job to bring in extra money? Can't he be the one to work overtime or get another part-time job since he's the one who wants the extras?

    Being a SAHM is a huge and exhausting full-time job all on it's own. Would it really kill him to cut back on the golf and eating out or give it up entirely? At least until your financial problems are in better shape? Until then, couldn't you and he find some alternative entertainment the whole family could enjoy?

    I don't mean to sound so abrupt or heartless, if that's how this comes across, but if you go back to an outside job when your heart is at home with your kids, your resentment is going to grow whether you realize it's happening or not. And it's all going to be aimed at him which will probably make you both miserable. Not to mention how your kids will feel, not only by picking up on the vibes around you two, but with no longer having Mom around as much any more.

    I can't go back and reread all your past posts, but did it really take both of you to get in the financial mess you are in? If yes, then maybe you can get a small part-time job or go the childcare idea to help out. If not, does it really mean you should be the only one to give up what you want to get out?

    Whatever you decide, you have my heartfelt best wishes.



  13. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Oh Boo--- I just had a chance to get to the forums and was looking for you and found this!!!Aich! I am so sorry that you are having to adjust your mom goals because of this darned economy!! Just keep focused on your goal!! Perhaps this is a temporary setback.

    Guess what? I am a new gramma as of this past weekend. Lil Myah...all 6lb 3oz of her arrived and is so darned adorable!!

    I continue to enjoy my job. If you do get back in the workforce...I pray that it is doing something you love...and that you feel valued and worthwhile doing it (whatever it turns out to be).

    I miss communicating with everyone here alot...but I stay so, so busy with job...kids...parents...and trying to carve out time for me...but I do try to get on and read the posts at least weekly.

    Hugs to you.

  14. JanH Says:



    Oh Boo, I'm sorry. I'm with Thrifty Ray, I hope this is temporary for your family. My mom found a job that let her be home in the afternoons after we got off from school so we spent time together. I hope that something like that comes your way. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Please don't feel a failure. You are a wonderful person and mom.

  15. asmom Says:

    Awww, I'm sorry. Try not to beat yourself up so much, it sounds like you have exhausted every option and maybe it is only temporary.

  16. boomeyers Says:

    Still no word on the library job. Will look for something in the weekend paper. Have to start sending out those resumes!!

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